A Season for Giving Thanks

A Season for Giving Thanks

I’ve been reflecting a lot lately about how much Christmas is taking over more and more time out of the year.  Don’t get me wrong, I love Christmas, in fact,  I’m one of those people who adores the holiday season…the songs, the food, the Hallmark movies, the decorations and lights, the time with family, the time off work, and so on...I am the anti-Grinch!  But, I think you’ll agree, it’s hard to ignore the bombardment of Black Friday sales and the growing trend toward Black Thursday (also known as Thanksgiving Day) sales.  With all the commotion about the “gift-giving” season…I feel like we increasingly lose our focus on that season right before the holiday madness ensues…the season for GIVING THANKS!

In our society, we are loosing Thanksgiving…so many people are overlooking the true spirit of setting aside time to Give Thanks—and even more, the immense benefits of doing so.  So today, I’d like to take a little time to reflect upon and discuss the concept of Giving Thanks, of Gratitude.  My hope is that through thought and discussion, we will each be able to enhance our own celebrations of Thanks-Giving.

I would like to begin by sharing some thoughts with you on four things that “Thanksgiving” is and is NOT. 

To start, I would like to cite a profound article I case across online a month ago as I began my research into the topic of Gratitude.  The article was titled “Thanksgiving:  Not Just a Day, But a Season” and was written by the Reverend Doctor Mark D. Roberts.  Dr. Roberts captured two very important issues that I’d like to discuss—two things that Thanksgiving is NOT.  First, Roberts argues that Thanksgiving deserves more than a once-per-year celebration…he propose a “Thanksgiving Season.”  Secondly, Roberts reminds the reader that Thanksgiving is not a day for gluttony, sloth and shopping—instead it is a day for family, friends and celebration of our blessings. 

Next, I would like to visit the idea that Giving Thanks is not a new or strictly American concept—the history of the universal concept of Gratitude goes back to ancient times and spans many cultures, religions, philosophies, and traditions around the world. 

To round out the discussion of what Thanksgiving is and is not, I will cite modern psychology with regard to gratitude.  I then I will leave you with two questions.  First, what can we each do to give this season of Giving Thanks a more meaningful place in our own individual lives and in the world at large?  Also, how can we make a place in our lives and hearts for growth in Gratitude the whole year through?

In Dr. Robert’s article, he asserts that he believes there is a danger in only setting aside one day each year for giving thanks because it could be mistakenly interpreted as something we only need in our lives on the fourth Sunday in November.  He proposes that Thanksgiving deserves more of a season—a consistent, prolonged period to examine our lives and all that we have to be thankful for.

So, Roberts is saying that there’s a lot more to Thanksgiving than a one day turkey and football game bonanza.  While we all love our traditions of roast turkey and stuffing, mashed potatoes and pumpkin pie, as the story I shared with the children reminds us, that is only part of our important yearly celebration of Thanksgiving.  Isn’t it? 

I love the Thanksgiving holiday traditions right down to the Macy’s parade.  But Roberts does make an interesting point about how the parade is also the traditional “kick-off to the holiday shopping season” with the prize at the end of the parade being the arrival of Santa.  Once again, I am no Ebenezer Scrooge, but maybe the holiday shopping stuff should come after the thanksgiving dinner and the thanks we give for the blessings we already have. 

Can’t we just slow down a little?  I love gift-giving as much as the next girl, but I also cherish a day off when I actually have the leisure time to spend with my very busy family members and enjoy their company…the chance to savor the moment and bask in the smell of the roasting turkey and the sweet mapley flavor of the candied yams…and the time to share stories of the old family memories we have together…to remember and honor the ancestors who raised us, provided for us, loved us and taught us and who in some way still live through us and with us in our family customs and remembrances.  For example, in our family we remember stories like that time that Pap got his harmonica out and started playing it in the fancy restaurant…everyone laughs and smiles and cherishes the love.  Personally, I prefer a day of that kind of warmth and appreciation over a cold crowd of strangers in a Wal-Mart or a mall--fighting over the newest trendy toy or technology gizmo that is on sale.

Sometimes our world gives us mixed messages and distracts us from the essence of giving thanks.  Just look at the controversy surrounded retail stores being open Thanksgiving Day.  Certain malls are actually fining stores that are choosing to stay closed that day.  Wal-Mart workers are planning to stage what they call the biggest strike of all time on Black Friday.  So what’s the fuss all about?  Do we really need those extra hours of shopping time?  I would assert that it would be more productive to have extra hours of family time.  What do we really need as an American society, more football and shopping or more family time and time to reflection on gratitude for what we already do have?

At this point, I stepped back and looked at the bigger picture…the universal, global, timeless idea of Gratitude.  You find a call for gratitude and giving thanks situated in most every world religion from Buddhism and Hinduism to the Judeo-Christian traditions and the Pagan practices.  For example, it is repeated throughout the old and new testament in phrases such as “This is the day the Lord has made, Let us rejoice and be glad!”  Moses and Abraham gave thanks.  Jesus gave a lot of thanks—once at a dinner called the “Last Supper.” One of my favorite parts of the story of the thanksgiving-like Last Supper celebration was when Jesus humbly washed the feet of his apostles to show them his appreciation and deep respect for them. Muhammad gave thanks and praise to Allah over and over again in the Qur’an. Countries all across the world celebrate many different harvest and thanks-giving customs.  The idea dates back long before the ancient Greeks and Romans…long before Christ, Buddha or Muhammad ever walked this Earth. 

These sages taught many lessons about gratitude like this quote from Buddha:  “Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn't learn a lot at least we learned a little, and if we didn't learn a little, at least we didn't get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn't die; so, let us all be thankful.”  Maybe we, as Americans, can look beyond the Plymouth pilgrims and learn something from others, or so, I hoped.  What I found was a rich history of harvest festivals--of time set aside each year for people across the world and across time to give thanks.

The West African Prayer that I shared with you as the opening reading is a wonderful example to begin with.

Lord, we brought in the harvest. 

The rain watered the Earth, the sun drew cassava and corn out of the clay.  Your mercy showered blessings over our country.  Creeks grew into rivers; swamps became lakes.  Healthy fat cows gaze on the green sea of the savanna.  The rain smoothed out the clay walls, the mosquitoes drowned in the high waters.

Lord, the yam is fat like meat, the cassava melts on the tongue, oranges burst in their peels, dazzling and bright.

Lord, nature gives thanks,

Your creatures give thanks.  Your praise rises in us like the great river.

I was drawn to this prayer because of the deep sense of gratitude it evokes…and not just gratitude for our cars and our homes and our jobs and our stuff, but gratitude for the earth and the harvest, for nature, for life, for the weather and even for the yam!  The prayer is part of the Homowo Festival in Ghana—the yam festival.  Because the yam is such an essential part of their harvest, it is a symbol of the three day long festival. 

Homowo resembles many other harvest festivals around the world—Chu Suk in Korea, Trung Thu in Vietnam, the Harvest Moon Festival in China, the Rice Harvest in Bali, Sukkot in Israel, and the Pagan celebrations of Lamas, Mabon and Samhain worldwide.  Likewise, Muslims devote much of their focus during the month long observation and celebration of Ramadan toward giving thanks to Allah.  Homowo is a time in Ghana when African people celebrate the blessings of the harvest and honor family members who have died.  I liked this notion because as we enter this rush of the holiday season, we also tend to remember those we have lost—those who will no longer sit in their physical forms at our Thanksgiving tables.  So perhaps, during this time of year, we can embrace this concept of showing a special gratitude to our ancestors and our living and lost loved ones—for all that they gave us and taught us and shared with us.

Another cultural practice that offers the same opportunities to express gratitude for the harvest, for life, and for those we have lost comes from much closer to home.  My own personal experience this fall with the Mabon celebration here at ESUUC really touched me deeply.  Having never experienced a harvest celebration like Mabon, I didn’t know what to expect.  I must say that I was deeply struck by the beauty of the celebration of gratitude.  One of the focuses of Mabon was that we showed our appreciation for the harvest—but it was not just about the harvest of crops—there was a much deeper sense of gratitude present—a gratitude for our own growth in the past year.  As someone who has experienced tremendous personal growth over the past couple of years, I embraced the opportunity to express my gratitude for my blessings—even the painful lessons that I had learned the hard way.  I would like to share with you part of the poem that was read that night that moved me to tears:

The harvest is completed,
         The grain of the spring’s sowing gathered in.
         Behold the mystery.  In silence is the seed of wisdom gained.
         Let us reflect upon our own harvest.
         Have we reaped with gladness
         The ripened grain of our own setting?
         Did our ideas come to fruition?
         Were the tasks we set for ourselves completed?
         We reflect on the year’s successes,
         Not the material successes of money made or contracts won,
         But the inner tasks that only ourselves shall know.

The lessons learned,
         The knowledge gained,
         The fears over come,
         The attitude changed,
         The vista shifted,
         The bridges built,
         The small but startling steps toward self knowledge.
         All these are our summer’s harvest,
         The food for our spirituality.
         Every step forward,
         Every grain reaped,
         Brings us nearer to the God and Goddess within.

We now look once more at our own harvest.
         When the harvest is gathered in
         We keep the seed and throw away the stalks.
         We take the unwanted parts of our harvest
         And throw them away without guilt or regret.

Far winds, blow clean and clear, sweep free through the skies to be with us here. Bring us the fresh breath of Fall. Refresh us after the long Summer. May your winds clear our minds. Prepare us for the birth of a new season. 

Next, as my research and experience led me toward a deeper, new understanding of Gratitude, my logical and scientific mind needed took look one more place…toward scientific research.  I enjoy reading about sociology and psychology and modern therapies such as Positive Psychology.  I guess you could say that learning more in that field is a hobby of mine.  I use it to guide my own journey toward happiness and self-actualization.  I’m always looking for new ways to grow in love and light and to learn to be a more positive person. 

So, finally, I’d like to share with you a research study that I came across in two of my sources.  Dr. Roberts discussed the study in depth in his article, then just yesterday I came upon a description of the same exact study in a book that had just come in the mail that I ordered from Amazon—one minute mindfulness.  So now we come back to the reading I shared moments ago from Thich Nhat Hahn…where gratitude fits in to living mindfully in peace with ourselves and with our world.

“Our true home in in the present moment.  To live in the present moment is a miracle.  The miracle is not to walk on water.  The miracle is to walk on the green Earth in the present moment, to appreciate the peace and beatuty that are available now.  Peace is all around us—in the world and in nature—and within us—in our bodies and our spirits.  Once we learn to touch this peace we will be healed and transformed.  It is not a matter of faith; it is a matter of practice.”  ~Thich Nhat Hahn (As quoted on page 34 of Wisdom Walk by Sage Bennet)

All five articles and my new book that I read, including Dr. Roberts’ discussion of the gratitude research study, pointed to a few clear ideas about gratitude.  First, Gratitude is the opposite of negative energy.  You physically cannot be positive and negative at the same moment in time.  Gratitude is the counter to negative energy, to depression, to anxiety, to many of the things that hold us back in life. 

It seems gratitude is the miracle cure we have all be looking for…and the best part is…it’s free and it’s natural!  Likewise, we can grow in gratitude the more we practice it.  Finally, there are many of ways we can incorporate more gratitude into our lives everyday of the year.

The Universities of Miami and California Davis study that Dr. Roberts cited--that I also found in my new book “One minute Mindfulness” by Donald Altman--set about to find correlations between gratitude and one’s mental and physical health.  The study’s statement of purpose reads: 

In the spirit of understanding the link between gratitude and happiness, the purpose of this research is to experimentally investigate the effects of a “grateful outlook” on psychological and physical well-being.  More specifically, we address whether relative to focusing on complaints or on neutral life events, a focus on “counting one’s blessings” leads to enhanced psychological and physical functioning.”   

Roberts explains that the study involved three groups of participants.  Each group would journal daily for several months about their assigned topic.  Altman further explains that:

The first group was instructed to pay attention and keep track of daily hassles, annoyances, and irritants.  The second group was instructed notice experiences of gratitude as they were happening and to make a list of these.  The third group was the control group; this group noted neutral life events.  All participants also tracked their moods, time spent sleeping, and time spent exercising.

The studies findings were quite promising.

According to Altman, “The study found that those who paid attention to gratitude were 25% happier than those who paid attention to daily annoyances.”

Additionally, Roberts goes on to cite the finding of the study to include that:

1.     There do appear to exist benefits to regularly focusing on one’s blessings.

2.     A weekly benefit listing was associated with more positive and optimistic appraisals of one’s life, more time spent exercising, and fewer reported physical symptoms

3.     People led to focus on their blessings were also more likely to report having helped someone with a personal problem or offered emotional support to another, suggesting prosocial motivation as a consequence of gratitude induction.

4.     The gratitude group experienced greater levels of positive affect, more sleep, better sleep, and a sense of connectedness to others.

5.     Gratitude intervention led to reductions in negative affect for those suffering with neuromuscular disease.

In summary, much like Thich Nhat Hahn, Roberts reminds us that:

Gratitude magnifies our experience of the good things in life, enabling us to enjoy them more thoroughly.  Gratitude also helps us to endure the hard things in life with more dignity, perhaps even with humor.  Gratitude is like savoring a fine meal, enjoy every bite, rather than racing through a meal as if it’s some sort of race.

This is the kind of thanksgiving that I wish for you and your families…a time to savor our blessings, and time to reflect in appreciation, a time to slow down, and a day, not to shop, but to celebrate life and love.  I hope that in some way, I have encouraged you each to embrace thanksgiving as a season and not just the fourth Thursday in November. 

In the words of the great Dr. Maya Angelou, “Let gratitude be the pillow upon which you kneel to say your nightly prayer.  And let faith be the bridge you build to overcome evil and welcome good.” 

In closing, I would like to challenge you to reflect for a few moments on your own inner sense of gratitude and the presence of gratitude in your own daily lives.  Thus, before we move on to a group discussion, I would like to give you a quick quiz.  Don’t worry it’s not for a grade and you won’t have to turn it in.  But this “How Grateful are You?” quiz is a great way to begin the self-reflective process of growing in gratitude. 

How Grateful Are You? (adapted from:  “How Negative Energy Affects Your Life and How to Clear It”  in Buddhist Vision)

1.     Do you complain?  All the time or just sometimes?

2.     Do you often discuss what’s wrong in the world more than what’s right?  This includes terrible weather, horrible traffic, idiotic government, lousy economy, stupid in-laws, etc.

3.     Do you criticize?  All the time or just certain people?

4.     Do you blame?  All the time or just certain situations?

5.     Do you feel like a victim?  Do you talk about people doing things to you?

6.     Are you grateful for what is or will you be grateful when things start going right?

7.     Do you feel like things are happening to you?  Or do you feel like they are happening through you?

These last two points are important:  If you’re not grateful except when things go right, you are negative.  Gratitude is positive.  If you are grateful for what is (including the unpleasant school of life lessons), then you can invite more and more positive energy in your life.

Following the mini-quiz, I would like to open the floor to group discussion of the following two questions…

1.     What can we do to make this a season of giving thanks and to make room in our lives for more gratitude the whole year through?

2.     How can we develop gratitude practices in our daily lives?  For example: Writing a gratitude journal or creating gratitude mandalas to display prominently in our homes.

Thank you!